Martial status...... unknown

An 85 yr old elderly customer just randomly blurts out "I've been married, divorced, unmarried, half married!"
I asked how you could only be half married and he replied
"OH, the last one was just a bed warmer"
Lmao

Wanna Ride

A regular elderly customer comes in and sits in a booth. Shortly after he seats himself, his lady friend joins him.  He says "Had I known you were coming here,  I would have given you a ride. " She's says "oh yeah" To which he replied " Yep! Right up over the hood of my car! " Nice. Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Taxidermy

I politely ask a customer if he was all set  with his meal to which he replied "Oh yeah, it's like the Taxidermy Cafe." " Oh! Where would that be? " I asked. He said " I don't know but I bet you come out stuffed!" LOL Well Played My Friend.
Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Remember Me ?

Customer: How long have you worked here?
Me: 12 years.
Customer: Oh, I've never seen you here before.
Me: Oh! Sure you have............ It was just 80 pounds ago lol
Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Checkin' Out

Haven't been at work 10 minutes and I've spilled a GALLON of ranch on the floor and broke a nail. Might as well punch out now and call it a day!  Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Breaking the Ice

So when I ask this lady customer what I can get her to drink she replies "I would like an ice water with 3 ice cubes" I can't help but put 4 ice cubes in her water out of spite. For real lady? Ah, Life as a Waitress! I can not make this stuff up people

This isn't my first Rodeo

So a customer walks in and states "there's going to be a group of us. A big group. Probably to big for you to handle.Hee hee" I couldn't help but reply, with all seriousness "oh my! This is my first rodeo" and walk away. Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Whipped

An elderly couple is getting ready to leave and as I cash them out the gentlemen politely asks his wife "do you mind if I go to the bathroom?" Now that is whipped. Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Holy Hell?

I just over heard my church going customer say "mass was hot as hell!" Yeaaaaah..... it got me thinking. Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Im a Waitress not a Farmer

As I greet a customer, who seemed overly excited, he says "so you from around here?" Me: well, from Peck really.Customer: huh, that's even worse isn't it. Me: *look of death Customer: so that makes you a farm girl right? Me: uh, no! That makes me a waitress. What can I get you to drink?.... Ah, Life as a Waitress!