Comedy Hour

1 customer: what do a dental hygienist and a waitress have in common?  They both ask you questions with your mouth full Me: lol 2 customer: whats the difference between a toilet seat and a waitress?  A toilet seat only has to deal with one asshole at a time  Me: lmao 3 customer (cranky franky): You're just putting in time, you aren't working! Me: of course!! Work is overrated.... I'm also more of a smartass than a dumbass. I have all sorts of comedians in the house today. Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Martial status...... unknown

An 85 yr old elderly customer just randomly blurts out "I've been married, divorced, unmarried, half married!"
I asked how you could only be half married and he replied
"OH, the last one was just a bed warmer"
Lmao

Wanna Ride

A regular elderly customer comes in and sits in a booth. Shortly after he seats himself, his lady friend joins him.  He says "Had I known you were coming here,  I would have given you a ride. " She's says "oh yeah" To which he replied " Yep! Right up over the hood of my car! " Nice. Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Taxidermy

I politely ask a customer if he was all set  with his meal to which he replied "Oh yeah, it's like the Taxidermy Cafe." " Oh! Where would that be? " I asked. He said " I don't know but I bet you come out stuffed!" LOL Well Played My Friend.
Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Remember Me ?

Customer: How long have you worked here?
Me: 12 years.
Customer: Oh, I've never seen you here before.
Me: Oh! Sure you have............ It was just 80 pounds ago lol
Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Checkin' Out

Haven't been at work 10 minutes and I've spilled a GALLON of ranch on the floor and broke a nail. Might as well punch out now and call it a day!  Ah, Life as a Waitress!

Breaking the Ice

So when I ask this lady customer what I can get her to drink she replies "I would like an ice water with 3 ice cubes" I can't help but put 4 ice cubes in her water out of spite. For real lady? Ah, Life as a Waitress! I can not make this stuff up people